AOCRAOA To Rule All of Obstacle Racing

Hold on to your hats OCR fans!  Just when you thought you had seen all of the acronyms you can stand, Human Movement (HMM) has launched their own OCR association.

HMM, the guys and gals behind Zombie Run, Color, Ugly Sweater Run, and the new Pumpkin Spice Latte Run, are launching a new organization which they believe will rule them all.  We are eternally grateful they reached out to ORM to help them launch this unbelievable, record breaking, OCRtastic,news.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact Jeff Suffolk
855.GOHMM.01

HUMAN MOVEMENT MANAGEMENT APPOINTS ITSELF TO LEAD THE AMERICAN OBSTACLE RACING ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA

AOCRAOA will act independent of reality and opportunity for all

Boulder, CO, May 3, 2014 – Two minutes ago, Human Movement Management (HMM) announced that they will be leading the American Obstacle Racing Association of America (AOCRAOA), a worldwide governing body that they just created. HMM, a popular event producer, came up with the idea three minutes ago after seeing yet another new federation try elbowing its way into existence. AOCRAOA believes it has already made these other national and international organizations obsolete. Their biggest concern is that someone claims the Milky Way and other important star clusters as their territory, but they’re in negotiations with a team of Intergalactic Property lawyers to sort it out.

Obstacle racing has emerged quickly as one of the fastest growing sports in history, with approximately five million runners expected globally in 2014. However, with the immense growth the space has experienced since 2010, the industry’s landscape has become fractured with many smaller race operators and newcomers offering too many choices for the average consumer. Furthermore, it appears that all of these brands have been established as for-profit entities.

AOCRAOA

AOCRAOA was conceived by Calder Cahill and Mike Brennen after their boss, HMM’s CEO Jeff Suffolk, caught them pinning weekend plans on Pinterest and reportedly told them to “do something.”

“It was quite shocking because Jeff is usually in his own world,” says Cahill. “But hey, you got to give it to him. Sometimes he has great ideas.”

According to a co-worker who was still pinning at a nearby cubicle, Cahill and Brennen started thinking about ways to make HMM’s fun runs even funner.

Among the things overheard:

• “Should we use Dawn Liquid Soap or the stuff you can buy at Costco for the big slides at Dirty Girl?”

And then just as Cahill and Brennen ran out of things to think about trying to talk about instead of pinning, they saw the press release about the newest new new governing body.

“And then it hit us,” says Brennen. “AOCRAOA!”

“Listen, I know what it takes to do shit like this,” said Suffolk. “I ran a 5:29 beer mile in high school and under the right circumstances, I can navigate Denver without Siri telling me where to go. So when I say do something, my people just know. You know?”

When asked why AOCRAOA, Suffolk says, “As the inventor of Fun and the driving force behind the popularity of having Fun, HMM has long been regarded as the worldwide leader in Fun, the “gold standard” by which all Fun things have been measured. And despite all the Fun, we take our moral superiority very seriously.”

Building on Suffolk’s statement, COO Toro Rochester says, “Having reached a critical mass in terms of participation and experience, and with the recent activity by lesser known players, we felt morally obligated to make everything else obsolete so that the consumer has one easy choice. And that’s why we started the AOCRAOA.”

AOCRAOA intends to focus on member benefits at both races and beyond, in America and beyond, including establishing an international ranking system. Upon achieving certain operational milestones and 501(c)(3) (non-profit) status which it’s presently seeking, the OCRAAB will operate independently of anyone else’s input or advice. The Federation’s website, which is really just a splash page until Suffolk tells people to do more things, is expected to “more fully launch” later in the year.

You can watch the press conference which was held moments ago right here.

Matt B. Davis

is the host of the Obstacle Racing Media Podcast and the author of "Down and Dirty-The Essential Training Guide for Obstacle Races and Mud Runs". He is also the only (known) #wafflehouseelite obstacle racer.
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3 comments
  1. Since the Rocky Point Tri isn’t sanctioned by USAT, maybe it can be governed by AOCROA. After all, this year’s swim made most obstacle courses pretty tame. In addition, RP Tri is the most fun triathlon in the galaxy. (I would have said in the universe but we don’t want Jeff to get a big head).

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