1 – Zoom. Zoom. Zoom.
Hop on a Zoom. Do a bunch with your friends. Do some with Instagram influencers. Then do one with family members you hardly talk to. You will regret it almost immediately, when buried childhood wounds are dug up.
However, you can then post things like “Just talk to my family for the family for the first time in YEARS!” or “Silver Linings – reconnected after so much time – Love. My. Sibs.!”
2 – Comment on how everyone is doing it wrong.
You love your friends, but they are doing it wrong. They’re ordering in to avoid contact, but probably too much, which puts a strain on all of us. They are going to the store and not wearing masks. Or, they are not wearing the right kind of mask. They are also posting articles which are fake or don’t have ALL THE FACTS. Straighten them out, and quick, with a Facebook post.
3 – Take mask selfies.
Everyone has seen thousands of these already, but have they seen how cute you look in yours?
4 – Teach your own kids.
Question – Now that we are all stuck inside 24/7, how can we spend even more time with our kids? Also, haven’t we all been itching to look at math problems we haven’t thought about in the last 20-30 years?
Why have we been sending these kids to school anyway? Paying for school lunches!? Creating an entire industry around teachers? We all clearly have had the skills to do this ourselves the whole time!?
When this thing is over, I hope we realize how foolish it’s been to ever have our kids leave the house, being taught by so called “professionals”
5 – Thank health care workers.
In the past, you only got a chance to show much you care about certain groups of people a couple of times a year.
Around 9/11, you can thank Fire, Police, and First Responders. Then around Memorial Day and Veterans Day, you can show much you care about people that served in the military. As long as you remember to thank the right vets on the right day. If you thank a living vet on Memorial Day, you are going to hear about it.
Anyhow, now you can thank healthcare workers every single day! But, no one will know, unless you post about it. So get on there and find a meme, cartoon, or make home-aid signs! Covid is NOT going anywhere for a while, so this is really a chance for you to shine.
6 – Learn a language.
Be a bad ass bitch about how amazing you are making yourself, with all this free time in your hands. You always wanted to learn and speak Spanish fluently. What is stopping you? Everyone else can complain about being “stuck”. You can expand your horizons with some Rosetta Stone. Post weekly, nope, daily progress will be essential with this one. ¡Te estamos esperando!
7 -Make essential items.
Pull out that sewing machine that’s been collecting dust. Start posting about all the people you’re making masks for, free of charge. If you don’t do this simply out of the kindness of your heart, you are a bad person.
8 – Brag about what your company is doing.
You are already showing people how awesome you are, but what about your employer? They have also been doing A.MAZ.ING. things, during this time. Even though you’ll be gone in 6 months when you get headhunted away for a 10 percent higher salary and two more weeks vacation, take the time now to talk about them. Use words like “Proud”, “Lucky”, “Grateful”, and “Honored”.
9 – Bake.
Open the oven. Stick things in. Set a timer. How hard is that?
10 – Post Anecdotes That Shame All Of Us.
Now is probably the best time you’ll ever have to make others feel bad about themselves, and the state of our world. One of my faves is “ God sent us to our rooms to think about what we’ve done here”. Now ya better not be selfish and steal that one. I’ll find you.
Matt B. Davis
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Thank me for my service while you’re at it.
Thank you, you hero. But really, thank you.
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